Hi Jayze, Wow what a piece of writing - I love all these words and sentencs you have put together to construct such an interesting read. However, I feel there is parts of your writing that could do with some improvements. You tell something/idea but then the connection with the detail somehow sounds a little off. Perhaps just re-reading it again to ensure it makes sense. I have always admired your writing and we are always looking for areas to work on. Please edit this when you get the chance too, or open and share with me. Keep up the good work. Miss Lesoa
Kia ora Jayze This is a mind blowing piece of writing-I love that you used a lot of juicy words and made your sentences interesting for the reader,you have constructed an amazing piece of writing-But the bottom paragraph went a little bit down hill,the question i have for you today is,How will you improve your writing next time?
Hi Jayze,
ReplyDeleteWow what a piece of writing - I love all these words and sentencs you have put together to construct such an interesting read. However, I feel there is parts of your writing that could do with some improvements. You tell something/idea but then the connection with the detail somehow sounds a little off. Perhaps just re-reading it again to ensure it makes sense.
I have always admired your writing and we are always looking for areas to work on. Please edit this when you get the chance too, or open and share with me. Keep up the good work.
Miss Lesoa
Kia ora Jayze
ReplyDeleteThis is a mind blowing piece of writing-I love that you used a lot of juicy words and made your sentences interesting for the reader,you have constructed an amazing piece of writing-But the bottom paragraph went a little bit down hill,the question i have for you today is,How will you improve your writing next time?